E-tip No. 62 – Knowing what you want part 3

This is the coolest part – the answer to the second question after What do I want? The second most important question is:
How will I know when I’ve got it!

For most people, they start with something woolly like:
· A great job – so what’s a great job to you?
· More money – £1 is more. Is that what you really want?
· Less stress – so you still want stress in your life????!!!!
· A new car – New to you, or brand spanking new? Will any car do?
Woolly desires usually end up with woolly outcomes!
So get specific!
· What’s a great job for you? What will you be doing?
· Exactly how much money?
· If you don’t have stress, what do you have in your life instead?
· What’s this new car look like? Colour? Style? Make? How do you want it to perform or function?

The specifics can be very specific, and you’ve done some of that work already having followed parts 1 & 2.

You see the human mind is amazingly goal-orientated. If you give it something woolly, you will get a woolly outcome – this is what most people do and what’s probably been happening to you so far. So be specific. If it’s money, come up with a figure. And not what you think would be acceptable to others, but would make you go WOW when you have it! And give yourself permission to have this. After all, who’s life are you living? Somebody else’s or yours?

And right now, how it’s going to happen is not important. After all, that’s the brilliant strategy that everyone else uses to give up before doing anything, to be unhappy, to cope, to struggle, to get by, to survive, and to stay stuck. So why would you want to use their strategy that hinders? That’d be crazy wouldn’t it?

Today’s experiment
· For each post-it note you have written what’s important to you, take a blank one and write down the answers to the following question:
When I have [insert important value here] what is going on for me? What am I seeing, hearing, thinking, feeling, doing? What are others saying, acting, behaving, thinking or doing?
You’ll come up with a list of criteria that are the specific answers to the question: how will I know when I’ve got it? And the answers are completely different for everyone. If a question pops up for you containing the words: should, must, ought or supposed to then that’s not what you really want, just others stuff. It’s what you want that’s really important. So answer the important question.
· And get used to this really happening for you. Make it real, as you know your unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between ‘real’ and ‘imagined’
· And give yourself permission, that it’s OK to have this. If you’re not sure, do what coaches call an ecology check by asking yourself: How would others be around me or what would be different if I had [insert what you want]? If what you want doesn’t quite fell right, ask yourself: what would need to change to not be unhappy about that? And keep asking yourself the question and going with the answers until you’re happy.

And remember, whatever you do, have fun too!

Anthony

©Anthony Davis 2006. All rights reserved