e-tip no. 80 – successful negotiating part 2

Last week I wrote that successful negotiating is about reaching a point where both parties agree on what they ultimately want – even if you don’t know how this will happen right now. Because as soon as you believe just in this possibility, over time, your incredibly creative and inventive mind works out strategies and ways to achieve this.

The second part covers the four strategies you have in negotiating which are:

• Changing yourself
• Changing them
• Doing nothing
• Getting out

In a little more detail and with some suggestions and ideas:

Changing yourself – learning and applying new stuff usually works, for example, changing your language using phrases such as I’m curious…or how would it be if or replying with a different than usual response. Shifting your beliefs – even only for a day or a meeting – say, from maybe this will never work to perhaps today’s the day also makes a difference.

Clear communication is the sole responsibility of the sender. If the receiver doesn’t understand the message then it’s your responsibility to ensure that they do.

Changing them – sometimes other people change and it may only need a small alteration to make a big shift. There are plenty of ways to do this, like dropping ‘seeds’, making suggestions and ideas in an open and curious frame of mind, or changing your language to influence them such as using metaphors or analogies, You might interrupt their patterns with a comment. Being open to new possibilities, clearly understanding their position or their (limiting) beliefs such as I don’t want to set a precedent (I understand that, so what would you like to set instead???) can make a difference.

Doing nothing – sometimes now is just not the time, the circumstances are not right and you just live with the situation. I’m not suggesting just coping as that’s not a sustainable long-term strategy. If the circumstances are not right, then work out what circumstances need to come together and provide a time frame.

Getting out – sometimes now is not the time and within the big scheme of things they or you are not going to change and then the best choice is to get out. If you are getting out, have something to go towards (i.e. what you want) otherwise you may find yourself going through the same hoops.

Today’s experiment

• Consider where you might currently be in negotiation. You may not even be aware of it! 
• Have a play with some of the above!

Until next time

Anthony

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